this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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