I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
