I'm gonna have a badass scar
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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