doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
