i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
