found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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