I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
