I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize