Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
