I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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