Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
