Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
