why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I need a beard to bite.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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