I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You took a bar mat shot.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
