so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize