it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
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So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
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I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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