He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
