doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
