she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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