he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
