I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
