Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
