Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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