Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
