What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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