I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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