She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
