And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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