the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
