I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
