Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
