Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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