so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize