Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
