she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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