There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
