just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
