is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize