whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize