You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
