You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
