I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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