You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
