doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
