there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
