This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
