watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
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