Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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