I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
