I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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