He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
