i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
