im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
