she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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