Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
