Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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