Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
