I am spending my child support on dildos
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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