Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
