i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He felt like a one man threesome
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
