the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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