So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
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Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
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By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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