I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
